Hank's beard

We've been terribly forgetful with this blog lately. It's inexcusable. You haven't heard from us since the Wings left the playoffs. We could tell you it's because we've been brokenhearted because of the loss (which is true) for two months, but really we've just been doing other things. Actually I'm actually cheating to bring this to you today because this drawing has been sitting in my files since June '09:





(I should probably take this moment to point out the 3rd member of our team. Tessa's boyfriend, Zack. Basically if you see any drawing on here that looks vaguely good or at least not like it was drawn on the back of Ebola research and then photographed with a sucky camera, it's probably his work.)

Anyway, last June, when were all sitting around the table: stunned, crying, eating sad playoff cake, our future captain, Henrik Zetterberg appeared to do an interview. It hadn’t been more than a minute or maybe time had ceased to exist inside the black hole of our Game 7 induced grief. Either way, we were completely shocked to see how quickly the Berg had gone from majestic facial hair to clean shaven. And that’s when Zack revealed what we should have known all along.

There is nothing normal about Zetterberg’s beard.

In fact, it is composed of the souls of men he has vanquished in battle. When they lose, they are simply sucked into the beard. On the occasions when Zetterberg happens to lose, the sadness of the event momentarily weakens his beard’s power. It is at this moment that the souls are able to escape. You may not have noticed it if you didn’t look close enough, but while the Penguins were frolicking with the Cup, a dazed and confused Steve Mason could been seen in the corner of the frame looking very scared and whimpering into a borrowed cell phone: “Mom? I don’t know where I am…”